Perhaps you are thinking by now that I am crazy. Why would I go through all this stress of planning elaborate and ridiculous (albeit, downright cheesy) date nights? Wouldn't it just be easier to pick one night a week and declare it as "date night" and just stay in watching movies together? Some days, after chasing a toddler all day and seeing all the undone house work, I wonder these very same things. Most weeks, I have so many other things on my list that need done aside from planning and preparing for a date night. Like right now, while writing this I am thinking of the water bill that's due Thursday, the dinner currently cooking in the crockpot, our cats who still need to get updated vaccinations, the taxes sitting on our kitchen table that still need to be finished, the cheese in my fridge that we picked up for some friends over the weekend and still needs delivered. And yet, I am working on planning our date for Valentine's day. Surely my husband would understand if I just took the week off. Yet, I am reminded of a few things that fuel my persistence:
1. I need a Creative Outlet. I love party planning! Organizing and creating are huge needs in my life and help me relieve stress. I thrive when I can put together an event. I planned our wedding almost entirely by myself, from the decorations and the food to the venue and invitations. Last April, I planned our daughter's first birthday, while we were in the middle of buying our first house (talk about stress!). Everyone needs a hobby, right?
2. Marriage requires intentionality. Sure, a regular date night could become part of our routine by picking one night a week and simply calling it "date night", but without us being intentional and making a plan for our dates each week, it can be easy to back out last minute with excuses of busyness or exhaustion. Our regular date nights would eventually become "when convenient" date nights. Marriage, like any other relationship, requires the parties to be deliberate in their actions for the relationship to thrive. Passiveness and complacency are detrimental. For these date nights I think we need to set a plan, an itinerary, for how we will spend our time together.
3. I want to encourage others to date their spouses. No, I don't want you to just copy us. I want you to see how fun it can be to date your best friend again. Remember before you were married, when you had just started dating, and you spent all day thinking about what you would do together? Remember the butterflies you would get when your date would pick you up, dressed to impress? Time, children, jobs, finances, extracurriculars, can all put strain on a marriage and take away the wonder and excitement a couple once felt towards one another. When that happens, how easy it is to sink into survival mode. Spouse become simply roommates, or worse, business partners in the business of life. In Proverbs, Solomon warns against adultery and tells the reader to "rejoice in the wife of your youth" and "be intoxicated always by her love" (Proverbs 5:18-19). It is prudent, and imperative to the health of a marriage, to continuously pursue our spouses.
Just some context for the journey :)
